For so many years, the laughters and sounds of the city have hid my smile, and disturbed my nights. For long, swarmed in the silence of my solitude, and a bitter cup of jealousy, I was confronted with the thought I had not grown up, and that I'd rarely change. I had not learnt, retarded in the puzzle; the puzzle of friendships, courtship, sexual codes, promiscuity, social norms and general degeneracy.
But at this time, I've felt, I've seen, I've experienced, I've created, I've written so many real things, that I can differentiate fantasy from reality.
And I can tell now that, in all of these sounds, they are all in fact empty; they are the sound of nothingness.
All that noise from these years, it was almost a delusion, as there was never a meaning, a reason, or a purpose, other than the drive for its own destruction and death. And all of these people in the streets, in fact, they didn't grow up. As a hurry fox with a sharp and big knife, If anything, they ended up mutilating, lobotomizing, damaging the beautiful, hopeful and blessedful parts of their souls.
So in a way, I accept my retardedness and innocence, and time always slowly and gradually grows the spirit - there shall never be an empty spot on it. Now, I just laugh it off from the eyes through a shoulder.