That is not difficult to be explained.
That is simple to be understood.
In a second
I had the fear of a lifetime
I couldn't move, I had all my weaknessess, my vulnerabilities exposed. Nothing I could do
In a second
I had the excitement of a lifetime
I wanted to reinveint the colors of the universe, run together through all corners of the planets, rewrite the shapes of the comets.
This realization
An initial fear, then burgeoning wonder and excitement.
In other words, what I'd discover is that
Loving someone I love is better than to love myself
And is the best feeling I ever had